Hop Against Homophobia…My story

So, a serious topic.

My (adoptive) parents are conservative Republicans, who voted for Richard Nixon twice, so I know I do not get my moderate to liberal social leanings from them! Before I found my birth family, I used to joke to friends that I knew my bio mom was a “hippie” as my views on the world had to come from someplace.

Turns out I was right. My bio mom is an ex-hippie, Grateful Dead-loving, make love not war kind of chick, who just happens to have a law degree. When I found my birth family, I also inherited a half sister and half brother. When you add that to my other siblings, we are now the flipping Brady Bunch. Holidays are real fun. *g*

About ten years ago, my half brother (who will now be referred to as Boo) called me and told me he was gay. I was the first person he ever told in our family. He wanted to gage my reaction and ask me how I thought other family members would take the news. I told him I loved him, the family would be fine and it didn’t matter who he dated, boy or girl, if they hurt him, I’d kick their asses. (Which is my right as a big sister.) After we hung up, even though I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, I called my birth mom. Now, I didn’t think she’d be upset, but I if she was, I wanted to warn her not to take it out on Boo. (Apparently my big sister instincts cover even family members).

My mom’s reaction? “Yeah, so?” My sister: “Is he sure?” When I replied, “Yeah, Sissy, I think he likes the cock just like we do.” She was then like, “Okay.” (Bluntness is a given in my birth family.) I went to a few PFLAG meetings after this event, but stopped going because no one in my birth family ever had a problem with it, even some of my redneck cousins didn’t care that Boo was gay.

There was no fuss, no muss, no screaming matches, no one got thrown out of the house and Christmas is still crazy but not because Boo is gay.

There was absolutely no drama for my brother’s coming out.

I wish it could be that way for everyone.

I wish that children were not taught hate. As a teacher, I wish other adults would stop allowing discrimination to be taught in our school systems. (I do not allow the word “fag” to be said in my classroom. Students have been thrown out of my class for that word and two others which I consider much worse than some curse words).

I wish people would stop discriminating for any reason. I believe that life is to short to live with hatred and pass along sexism, racism and homophobia to the next generation.

One day, I hope that gay marriage will be legal in all states, not just the one I live in. And like segregation, homophobia will be a thing of the past. I know it can happen.

I believe that one day no one will blink an eye when a child “comes out,” and love and acceptance will prevail.

I believe.

And until then I will continue to fight against hate in any form.

* * *

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21 thoughts on “Hop Against Homophobia…My story

  1. Kendall McKenna

    Thanks for sharing, and thanks for ‘walking the walk’ in your classroom. And yay, that Boo’s coming out was so drama free!

    Reply
  2. Trix

    With education, luck, and time, someday every family’s story will be this positive. Great post!

    Reply
  3. dawnandscottflemington

    Great post — your bio family sounds a lot like my husbands family… and the way I raised my own kids… speaking of the husband (who is bisexual like me) – he is also a teacher (so he has to be careful that nobody knows so he doesn’t loose his job) and has all sorts of problems with the administration in regards to homosexuality in the school. He is an HS English teacher and has been ordered not to let the kids talk about it. He can’t even show support for the GLBTQ kids in the school. Recently, he had an assignment for his senior writing class – to pick something out of the news to write about. 2 chose gay rights and 3 chose equality for marriage — and it was HIS butt that got called out on the line for it… it is so unfair what they are doing to teachers now a days — but that is another topic… anyway… I loved reading this… Keep up the great work! romancewiththeflemingtons DOT blogspot DOT com….

    Reply
  4. Andrea

    Great post and you have a great family. It would be wonderful if everyone had so much support and love.

    Reply
    1. hlholston

      Crissy, you are the winner. Pick a book, either Coffee, Tea and the Mile High Club or His Hero anthology, which has our In the Name of the Law novella. Thanks!

      Reply
  5. yganoe

    As an educator myself, I try to always teach my students acceptance, love, and just be nice. I know it sounds simplistic but wouldn’t it be nice if it could be that easy?
    Yvette
    yratpatrol@aol.com

    Reply
  6. L.M. Brown

    Wonderful post. I hope that one day “coming out” won’t even be necessary. That a young man or young woman can bring home their first boyfriend or girlfriend with the same sort of reaction that the heterosexual teens do today. They won’t; need to come out because they won’t ever need to be in the closet at all.

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

    Reply
  7. barbara elsborg

    yep, life is too short, you’re absolutely right. it was lovely to read how accepting your family was – is – and as a teacher you have exactly the right mindset to pass that need for tolerance and respect on to others. Good for you!

    Reply
  8. jenxbyron

    You know what I dream about? That “coming out” itself will become a thing of the past. That someday, young people will just be able to introduce their significant other, and no one will even notice or care if the “other” is of the same or opposite sex. A friend’s daughter told her she was bi-sexual, and that she was sure she wouldn’t care, and my friend said that she takes after her mom! It was low drama, just like that, and awesome.

    Reply
  9. laurie g

    great post…it would be nice if ‘comming out’ wasn’t fraught with dangers like it is now. i feel bad for the gay ppl i know that had a hard time telling those who loved them and then rejected them cuz of them being gay

    Reply
  10. Ashley E

    It would be wonderful if all coming out stories were just like Boo’s. It’s great that his family doesn’t see any need to change their love for him just because he happens to be gay. Hopefully someday it will always be like that.

    Reply

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